It's been more than a week since we have known that a little Bekele is going to join our family in 9 months! Right from the days of suspicion, I can't remember being anything but happy! My husband on the other hand, handled the news like he handles everything - with planning and MS Excel! :)
Our families were ecstatic at the news! After all, it's been a year and 3 months since we got married - it is pretty much what people expect of us! The first couple of days went by in the daze of telling my humongous family one at a time! I told about 30 people in 3 days and my husband told 5! If this is not proof that women network/talk to more people than men, then nothing is! After the excitement of hearing others get excited for me, I got some time to actually think about what it means. I mean, when you and your husband talk about having a kid, you talk about the basics and whether we are ready for it. You go through a lot of self-introspection at this point, but when the news actually sunk in, it was a whole new feeling!
Thinking about it on one of my long train trips back home from work, I felt more feelings at once than I have ever felt so far! Elated at the thought of being a mother - of course, scared about if I would be a good mother, anxious at the thought of handling so many emotional and physical changes, thankful to God for being one of the couples that are blessed to be given this opportunity to be parents when so many people these days go trough so many fertility treatment procedures, surprised at the amount of love I could feel for a being that is currently as big as an orange seed and living inside of me, worried about travel logistics, if our house is big enough, our financial situation and so much more!!! What made me feel at peace while feeling all of this was the fact that all I was having OUR baby - someone who was made by my husband and me! What a miracle!
Over the next few days, I realized that my life has completely changed. With every slight feeling around my stomach area - whether an itch or some pain, I was constantly worried about the safety of my baby! It totally caught me off guard that I could love something so much that I didn't even know existed just a few days ago. Looking up online, I realized that all mothers worry about miscarriages - but that did nothing to soothe my fears each time I felt anything different. And this is what the rest of my life is gonna be like - worrying about the safety and well being of my baby!!! :) Surprisingly, I was welcoming that worry! Maybe I will regret it when my baby girl goes out on prom night with a guy in a leather jacket! But for now, I felt like I was home!
My husband and I have discussed quite a few things about the baby already, thanks to his obsession for planning! Every time someone tells me to plan only after the third month when chance of miscarriage is significantly lower, I just say a silent prayer to God to keep my baby that he gave me, safe! I truly believe that parents talk to God so much more.
I have my first actual OB/GYN appointment on two days from now and I can't help being excited about it. I just want to know whatever I can about my baby. All the books we bought as soon as we confirmed pregnancy and the material I found on the internet just doesn't seem personalized enough! I want to know how MY baby is doing!
While I am hoping that I somehow incorporate the few things I thought my parents could have done better, I am hoping that I will be at least half as good a parent as my parents were to me! I am not worried about my husband - he was born to be a father!
I do thank God for giving us a support system stronger than anyone could ever ask for. It is the prayers of friends and family that got us where we are today and I am sure with their assured support and continuing prayers, the soon-to-be 3 member Bekele family will sail through!
Look forward to more updates from the Bekele Mommy-to-be!!!!
